Easter

Its that time of year when I find various shades of pastel Easter grass in such unlikely places as the dishwasher and my shorts drawer. I don't remember the last time St. Patrick's Day, the first day of Spring, AND Easter were all in the same week. Kind of fun.

So my Mom does holidays amazingly well. For Valentines Day we always had a red dinner, for St. Patrick's we had green, and every other holiday was celebrated at my house with much festivity and style. My Mom always pays great attention to detail, with matching dishes (sometimes plastic or paper, but always festive), cute centerpieces, and theme-oriented food. This has always been great fun.

I have to admit, I enjoy it when someone else puts forth the work, but not so much when I am running the show. In fact, sometimes my expectations for what I need to do are so high I don't do anything at all. So, although my attempts were thrown together at the last minute and a bit weak this year, I was proud of our St. Patty's Day green dinner. Of course, it still pales in comparison to my Mom's fabulous green dinners. (Note that my centerpiece happens to be one of my favorite birthday gifts, minus the chopped off blossoms) :)

Easter, also very low-key. The Easter Bunny did manage to make it to our house, and I did put an Easter tablecloth on the table for dinner (one that my mom gave me, no less!). I felt pretty heroic. Also interesting that in the fresh snow on our walk outside were many rabbit tracks. Hows that for ambiance? Wish I could take credit for that one.

This Easter I've been feeling especially grateful for my previously little-noticed blessings. I've been more thankful for the food on the table (even if the mashed potatoes are green), that I have a healthy family to share it with, and a roof over my head. Most of all, I'm thankful for my Ultimate Hero, who was always concerned about the one, the one who no one else seemed to notice at times. He is still concerned about the one. I have to echoe the statement that I'm amazed "he would descend from His throne divine, to rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine." He rescues me every day, even though I'm not always paying attention. When I feel invisible as a Mom, I have to remember all the great things He does under that cloak of invisibility.

Quotes of the Day

Kaedon talked for a few days about how fun it would be to be a king. I started to worry about him, thinking he had some issues with control or power. (or materialism) So, one day I asked him why he wanted to be a king. He said "so I could choose which animal is the symbol of my kingdom." So simplistic. Pretty cute little nature-loving dude.

Another one, heard this on "Car Talk," has special meaning for me this week. (don't ask) One of the Car Talk bros said to the other, "I'm not much of a bath man myself, I'm more of a cologne man [raucous laughter]." I love how hard those guys laugh at their own jokes. Makes me laugh just hearing them laugh at themselves.

We watched Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (fun, good movie, but I thought it was a bit heavy for my kids). In the film, Natalie Portman's character feels inadequate to fill shoes of "departing" Mr. Magorium--she is plagued with self-doubt. Only when she begins to believe in herself and that she has magic within does she revive the departed Mr. Magorium's store. At one point, Mr. Magorium says to her: "your life is an occasion. Rise to it." Them's inspirin' words.

No Words

So...a few months ago I found myself thinking of all the amazing women I know and all they sacrifice for their families and the community. Every day it seems I see someone doing something quietly amazing for someone else. I wondered to myself how anyone who knew Mormons could possibly think of them as a Satanic cult. Then Mitt Romney came along and I saw that there are still so many prevalent misconceptions. I felt so frustrated....I wanted to be able to answer people face-to-face, yet this was not an option. So I tried to think of a way to answer back, so to speak. At the very least, I wanted to defend these people who I love so much and who are so good, yet so misunderstood. Yet, I didn't want to sound defensive. I thought about what Mormonism means to me, that its overriding theme is about being a better person each day, and trying to be more like Jesus Christ. I don't know the answers to all the anti-Mormon stuff out there, but I know that Mormonism has made my life better and inspired me to desire to be better.

So, I wrote an essay and submitted it to "This I Believe," which airs occasional essays on NPR. This January was the tenth anniversary for when I left on my mission, so its been on my mind a lot the last few months. I decided to write an essay about my mission, because it was so life-altering for me. I figured people not of my faith might find such an experience interesting (it may be commonplace to Mormons, but to others, its quite unique). I also wanted it to be personal-- about a person, an individual, and not a doctrine or a practice. Instead of arguing or getting defensive, I felt like I just wanted to show rather than tell someone what being a Mormon was all about to me. And I hope that people will see that its end result in my life was good, even if they don't agree with Church doctrine or want to become members themselves.

When I tried to submit my essay, it was way too long. (surprise, for those of you who had had your head talked off by me...sorry) So I had to cut it way down...it didn't end up sounding like I wanted it to sound, but I'm glad I did it. In the end, it was good for me! Made me appreciate writers (its so much harder to make the words sound effortless and the thoughts/ideas flow than I ever imagined!), and also made me think about my life, my religion, and why I do what I do. Also brought back some very tender feelings about the people I met on my mission, made me realize how rewarding it is to serve people. (little did I imagine I'd get the opportunity so soon after writing it!)

As I look around me, it seems everyone else learned lessons about helping others and unselfishness without serving missions. It seems I just needed an extra push.

The essay did not get approved for NPR (no surprises there), but it is published on the This I Believe website, under my last name.

One last disclaimer. I put something about being a mom at the end. It seemed to me that learning to love serving others naturally translated into being a mom. I love being a mom, it is another one of those amazing things that makes you look at the world in a completely different way. I wanted to share some of the great moments I've had with my kids (because of time and space I used experiences we have had for the last 6 years-- such as floating boats down little stream 1/2 mi. from our house in England-- but didn't have space to explain relativity, etc-- realized later I implied we have a stream, oops). BUT our life is far from as idyllic as I portrayed. I definitely have moments when I contemplate becoming a murderess, even though I love being a mom.

www.thisibelieve.org or click on "No Words" title above. (don't you love how I titled my longest posting yet "No Words?" Gotta love it.)