Scholasti-Mom

I have a friend who will soon be a stay-at-home mom! In response to her request for ideas on how to maintain a brain as a mom, I thought I'd post a thought (or two). I don't mean any of this to sound preachy or soapbox-ish-- its just that kids and learning and kids' learning (I don't just mean intellectual!) are things I am more passionate about than just about anything else! If this is all obvious information, then take it with a grain of salt. :)

1. IF you have any, leave behind any preconceptions about "woman's work" being degrading. Women have made successful businesses as seamstresses, chefs, doctors, decorators, even "home organizers!" Doing the same things at home can be just as challenging and rewarding with the right attitude. All the other stuff aside, is there a more important job in the world than being a mom?

2. Let your child's curiosity lead you. Kids look at the world with such a fresh perspective. Things we take for granted, like the color of the sky and the blowing of a breeze are all new to them. As you help satisfy their curiosity, you may learn something that you would otherwise have taken granted! You can also stoke their curiosity by having some of it yourself. "How do flowers grow?" or "what causes the wind to blow?" may be questions that lead to an exciting mutual discovery. (I have learned more out of children's books at the library than I did in college! Physics, astronomy, math, literature, botany, you name it!) And teaching something really is the best way to learn it.

3. You don't have to go somewhere fancy every day, but find little learning opportunities as you progress through your day. I still remember watching Becky show Eleanor the moon once after a get-together and explaining a bit about its phases. No wonder she is so smart!

4. Periodically expose your kids to the best classical music, art, dancing, theater, science, etc (even if its on a CD or DVD!). They may not be as excited as they would be for Water World (and I'm not saying NOT to go to Water World, just to not do that exclusively) but if YOU are excited, its hard for some of that not to rub off. My kids love dancing around to the "William Tell Overture" as much as they do to more "cool" stuff.

5. Become a miniature child development expert. Researching the human brain and how it works not only helps in understanding each phase your child goes through, but can be enlightening in regards to human nature in general (including your own!).

4. Stay connected with the world through high-end journalism. I love to listen to NPR while I fold clothes or get ready for the day. I also love reading a couple of Wall Street Journal articles a day or sneaking in a bit of the "Economist." I like to think of it as learning from some of the brightest minds in America right there in my living room.

5. This is probably too obvious: challenge yourself with books and discuss them with others. :)

6. Mindless tasks don't have to be mindless. Agatha Christie once said that she planned her novels while doing the dishes. Some of these kinds of tasks are a great opportunity to think and plan without having to completely focus on the task at hand.

7. When within the budget, use travel as a teacher. We like to work in at least one cultural event per family trip. Going to the preserved home of a favorite writer or diplomat is more personal than just reading about him/her in a book.

8. Understand that you may not always be perfectly stimulated at all times (you probably wouldn't feel this in your job, anyway!). Raising kids does require some sacrifice, even if that just means changing the timing of something you really want to do or learn. In the end, it is so worth it! Imagine, as a kid, thinking, wow, my mom is an amazing, capable woman, who could do just about anything, and she chose me. What kid wouldn't feel the power of their own potential when the most powerful woman in his or her life sees him/her as a top priority? What will that child not be able to accomplish? And knowing that you've empowered someone else will contribute more to your being than just about anything else.