No Words

So...a few months ago I found myself thinking of all the amazing women I know and all they sacrifice for their families and the community. Every day it seems I see someone doing something quietly amazing for someone else. I wondered to myself how anyone who knew Mormons could possibly think of them as a Satanic cult. Then Mitt Romney came along and I saw that there are still so many prevalent misconceptions. I felt so frustrated....I wanted to be able to answer people face-to-face, yet this was not an option. So I tried to think of a way to answer back, so to speak. At the very least, I wanted to defend these people who I love so much and who are so good, yet so misunderstood. Yet, I didn't want to sound defensive. I thought about what Mormonism means to me, that its overriding theme is about being a better person each day, and trying to be more like Jesus Christ. I don't know the answers to all the anti-Mormon stuff out there, but I know that Mormonism has made my life better and inspired me to desire to be better.

So, I wrote an essay and submitted it to "This I Believe," which airs occasional essays on NPR. This January was the tenth anniversary for when I left on my mission, so its been on my mind a lot the last few months. I decided to write an essay about my mission, because it was so life-altering for me. I figured people not of my faith might find such an experience interesting (it may be commonplace to Mormons, but to others, its quite unique). I also wanted it to be personal-- about a person, an individual, and not a doctrine or a practice. Instead of arguing or getting defensive, I felt like I just wanted to show rather than tell someone what being a Mormon was all about to me. And I hope that people will see that its end result in my life was good, even if they don't agree with Church doctrine or want to become members themselves.

When I tried to submit my essay, it was way too long. (surprise, for those of you who had had your head talked off by me...sorry) So I had to cut it way down...it didn't end up sounding like I wanted it to sound, but I'm glad I did it. In the end, it was good for me! Made me appreciate writers (its so much harder to make the words sound effortless and the thoughts/ideas flow than I ever imagined!), and also made me think about my life, my religion, and why I do what I do. Also brought back some very tender feelings about the people I met on my mission, made me realize how rewarding it is to serve people. (little did I imagine I'd get the opportunity so soon after writing it!)

As I look around me, it seems everyone else learned lessons about helping others and unselfishness without serving missions. It seems I just needed an extra push.

The essay did not get approved for NPR (no surprises there), but it is published on the This I Believe website, under my last name.

One last disclaimer. I put something about being a mom at the end. It seemed to me that learning to love serving others naturally translated into being a mom. I love being a mom, it is another one of those amazing things that makes you look at the world in a completely different way. I wanted to share some of the great moments I've had with my kids (because of time and space I used experiences we have had for the last 6 years-- such as floating boats down little stream 1/2 mi. from our house in England-- but didn't have space to explain relativity, etc-- realized later I implied we have a stream, oops). BUT our life is far from as idyllic as I portrayed. I definitely have moments when I contemplate becoming a murderess, even though I love being a mom.

www.thisibelieve.org or click on "No Words" title above. (don't you love how I titled my longest posting yet "No Words?" Gotta love it.)