Best Christmas

This was an awesome Christmas. Something about having our little miracle here at the same time we celebrate the birth of the Savior was so special. We saved our Christmas shopping for December 23 (and I even got a couple of things on December 27--so sad!), but it was so nice to simplify! Just a few less distractions. We have also been the recipient of the kindness of our family as well as some complete strangers! Our ward has been so good to us to bring us meals and check on us periodically-- a family we don't even know surprised us with dinner on Christmas Eve. We also got to see Becky, Gavin, and Eleanor when they came to Utah-- a highlight for all of us and a sight for sore eyes! My sister also surprised us by eloping in Figi on the day after Christmas! I'm so happy she found such a great guy, and that she saved me a really long plane ride. (j/k) :)

Sweet Baby

After moving, I got in to see an OB that I quickly discovered I would rather not see, so after changing insurance I was able to see a doctor a friend had recommended. Because we still don't know many people, I've taken all my kids with me to various appointments (and had to be creative about explaining certain things, as well as offer some outright bribes for good behavior), including the ER yesterday (I'll get to that later).

I saw the new doctor on a Monday, and the very next day I went into labor! That Tuesday, I ran errands with my girls, and started feeling a really sharp, localized pain in my back and abdomen. It didn't come and go like contractions, but was constant and very painful. I tried laying down in the afternoon to get it to go away (I thought it was from carrying Maia around that morning), but nothing made it feel better. I also wasn't feeling the baby move and I had a fever. I was really afraid something was wrong! I really didn't want to go in (so inconvenient!, but decided that I probably ought to. I did end up calling my only friend in the immediate vicinity who was very nice about letting me leave the kids with her. I went to the hospital with my bag, though it wasn't completely packed, because I was sure they were sending me home! I didn't take cameras or anything else either. I called Miguel at work and told him to stay there, I was just getting checked and not to worry (he still teases me about this because I called him crying).

I'm sorry this is so long. Someone needs to help me learn how to abridge myself. I started having contractions on the way to the hospital, though they were light. At one point, I had to stop at a drive-thru burger joint to ask for directions to the hospital! The poor teenage girl looked like a deer in the headlights when I asked her how to get to the hospital-- at least she will always have that fun story to tell.

In the hospital, the L & D nurse was really nice (amazing how differently they treat you with a fourth baby than a first). I kept insisting that I probably wasn't in labor, that I just wanted them to check the baby, but of course they admitted me and strapped me up to all their machines and called the doctor. The machine showed that I was having contractions, and after an hour and a half of watching me they decided I was progressing and therefore decided to keep me!

My new doctor, bless his heart, actually came to check on me at 10 pm and I wasn't ready yet, so he went in another room and slept. Meantime, of course Miguel had arrived, my mom had driven down to take the kids (they actually stopped by...they weren't sure what to think), and my sister stayed with me after my mom left. Everyone tried to sleep a little, and the nurse came in about midnight to check me again. She said she thought I was pretty close to delivering, but wanted to check before we woke up everyone, so she asked me to give a little push and see what happened. Pretty quickly she asked me to stop pushing and she went to get the doctor.

The room was soon bustling with green scrub-clad medical people getting ready for our new arrival. The doctor and nurses were fiddling with his chair when I felt a funny sensation (I had an epidural) like the baby was starting to slip out a little bit. Everyone was pretty preoccupied, and I didn't want to bother them, but I thought I'd better tell them. "Um, I have a weird feeling like the baby is starting to slip out," was all it took and everyone was suddenly right there. Miguel said the baby's head was completely out already. Good thing I said something or that baby might have been on the floor! :)

One little push and she was out! To me, she is beautiful as can be, and has a different look than the other kids. (they are all beautiful as can be, I didn't mean that to come out wrong) Of course she is super sweet and has been a great baby so far. It has sure been fun having kids just a tad older this time, so they can enjoy her that much more.

It took a couple of days to get her a name, (another thing I went to the hospital without!) but having a couple of quiet days in the hospital seemed to help. It just seemed to fit her.

Since then, we've been beguiling away the time just enjoying her and enjoying each other. I have felt great except for my legs. I thought they'd get better after she was born, but they actually hurt worse for the first couple of days. Then I noticed a red, swollen,lump on one leg a few days after we got home from the hospital. The doctor said it was probably a blood clot. Since it was in a superficial vein, the doctor prescribed an antibiotic and wanted me to watch it for a few days to see if it improved.

It improved a little, but I was still having quite a bit of leg pain, and I was worried about a clot in a deeper vein. Again, so inconvenient, but since it was still hurting yesterday I had to go back to the ER so they could do an ultrasound on my leg. They noticed the superficial clot but nothing in the deep veins, though he noted that I "definitely have some varicosities." (thank you!) Its probably those that are still hurting.

So I have to continue to wear my fashion hosiery for the next four weeks and just make sure I don't sit or stand too much.

In the end, she is definitely worth it all! Amazing that once they get here, all of those aches and pains are worth it.

Moved in

Okay, so this is so tardy. We moved into our rental house mid-November, after a sad goodbye to our dear friends. We were nearly homeless at Christmas with a new baby on the way, as our first rental house fell through when all our stuff was loaded on the truck! We didn't even have internet to look for another one, and didn't know what to tell the driver to do with our stuff! Fortunately I had a list of rentals and phone numbers from an earlier search, and we found one that we had originally discounted because it couldn't be occupied until Dec 1. They let us move in early (thank heavens, since Ava came early!). It is a newer home in a pretty new development. I'm loving it for now, because it has an unfinished basement, which means plenty of storage and less to clean! Its been so nice to have that with a new baby...much easier to maintain (if you can call what I've been doing "maintaining!"). We also have an awesome back yard with an amazing view. Its funny, though, our kids were so used to playing in the front yard at the old house that they still go out front when its time to play! We also discovered we have a huge ward, and we already know several people in it. We live across the street from a couple I knew before (don't ask how!). Small world.

Best Friends in the World

What can I say to some of the most amazing women in the world? I have been feeling guilty lately for all the kind things you have done for me that I will be unable to reciprocate! Thanks for being there for me through some tough times, for making me laugh, for helping me relax a little bit (and realizing that is okay!), for feeding my family, for crying with me through my pregnancies but cheering for my new baby, for park days and ward picnics and babysitting, and putting up with me on my bad days. Thanks for inspiring me to be better-- for inspiring me to desire to help others, learn how to sew, to read more, and to make at least a little time for myself. You even inspire me to do my hair once in a while. You are amazing! I am really going to miss you.

On Moving Trucks, Yard Signs, and Goodbyes

I know its been so long since my last post! I've been so sad about moving I just haven't had the heart to write about it yet. This is the longest we've ever lived anywhere-- nearly half of our married life has been spent here! Although I'm not attached to my house as a house, it has become home for me. We've been through a lot here, watched our kids grow and our family grow, and I've made some of the best friends I've ever had. Its also been a great ward, where I've really enjoyed serving, being served, and learning from the amazing examples all around me.

I enjoyed serving in Relief Society, intense as it was. There was a special spirit that came into my life at that time and I was definitely buoyed up beyond my natural abilities. I still feel my time was too short, but I learned a ton. One of my big concerns as we considered Miguel's job offer was making sure I felt we'd be doing the right thing. In the end, it boiled down to him being happy in his job and being closer to our family.

As our move date has drawn closer, it has become clear how much the friendships we've made here mean to me. The part of me that wants the comfort of the easy road (that is the loudest voice in my head lately) wants to ignore the right choice and just stay here. I have to remind myself that we really did think this through prayerfully and we are making the right choice, hence everything will turn out okay. (Even though, as Kaedon says, "change is hard! Why does Obama have 'change' as a slogan? it should be 'no change!'") :)

I've been reading a biography of John Adams (by David McCullough), a new hero of mine. In a world that mocks idealists, he was a shining star of sticking to his principles, in spite of all the hardships it entailed (his wife as well!). (refreshing after the recent political furor) Several years before the revolution, he was offered a position within the British government in Massachusetts. The man who offered him the job was similarly bright and talented, and lived a much more lavish lifestyle because of the job he had taken for the British. I'm sure this was a tempting prospect! But John turned it down, opting instead for the hard and tedious road that would lead to eventual American independence. If he had taken that job, undoubtedly he would not have been selected later to represent the burgeoning colonial government, and his part in shaping this great nation would have never existed. When the tide rose in favor of independence, his wife in a letter quoted Shakespeare to him:

"There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life Is bound in the shallows and the miseries...And we must take the current when it serves, Or lose our ventures."

A good lesson in taking opportunities when the time is right, even if it entails some personal sacrifice.

In the end, I'm glad that goodbye isn't forever (if all of you would just move with us, that would be great.), and I'm thankful I can keep up with your lives on your own blogs.

So, I'm sorry for yet another introspective and serious blog post. In about another month I hope they'll lighten up a bit! :)

If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix It

After three kids and seven years of parenting we have finally reached one of those milestones: a broken arm!

After soccer yesterday, I was getting in a much-needed and long-overdue chat with a friend I hardly ever see. Kaedon was playing with her son while Maia and Isa rode bikes (and I intermittently made half-hearted attempts to get them to the car!).

Right when it was time to go, Isa took a spill on her bike. We pulled her out from under the bike, checked for bumps and bruises (there were no bruises or scrapes!) and got her to the car. She was crying quite a bit, but it was also a little past dinnertime and I figured she was tired and hungry.

In the car, I looked back at her and noticed her arm looked a little weird. (maybe this was mommy paranoia?) Just to be sure, I asked her (without giving away that I had a certain arm in mind) if either of her arms hurt. She pointed to the one that was already suspect. With no real reason to suspect a break, I just felt that something wasn't right.

We got home late, the house was a wreck, there was nothing to eat for dinner (we had already had cereal for breakfast and lunch...there are limits, even for cereal), the girls were both crying, I had an appointment at church in 20 minutes, and my legs were killing me. I normally try not attack Miguel for a few minutes, but when he walked in the door a bit later, I said "I NEED SOME HELP!" I canceled my appointment and sat in the recliner holding two crying girls while he made dinner. Even though there wasn't much of a reason to suspect a break, but I still felt deep down that her arm was broken.

Dinner and medicine helped the atmosphere at home tremendously. We decided to wait until the morning, and if her arm still hurt, take her in to be seen. In the morning, there was still no bruising or swelling, but she couldn't turn her hand over and her arm was still really tender.

We went to Urgent Care and got X-rays, and the X-ray tech showed them to me briefly before we went back in to see the doc. I couldn't see anything and felt pretty silly, thinking I had been overly paranoid. I was very surprised when the doctor came in, saying the arm was broken after all! (mixed feelings here)

I chatted with the doctor while she casted her arm. She would periodically ask Isa questions and Isa would only look very gravely at her cast without saying anything. After she left the room, Isa held up her arm and said "Mom, its on the RIGHT arm!" (incidentally, the WRONG arm!) Can't believe neither I nor the doctor even noticed. Isa said the entire time she was casting it, she was thinking "wrong arm! wrong arm!" (THATs why she was looking so serious!) So Isa actually got to have TWO casts for a little bit-- a pink AND a purple. We took a picture with my phone and sent it to Dad (who as yet didn't know whether she had a break or not) and Grandpa/Grandma. We thought it was a pretty good joke to appear to have two broken arms instead of just one.

Afterward, we got her a treat and some medicine and she got to watch TV all afternoon! She said "this is kind of fun!" What a cutie.

Scholasti-Mom

I have a friend who will soon be a stay-at-home mom! In response to her request for ideas on how to maintain a brain as a mom, I thought I'd post a thought (or two). I don't mean any of this to sound preachy or soapbox-ish-- its just that kids and learning and kids' learning (I don't just mean intellectual!) are things I am more passionate about than just about anything else! If this is all obvious information, then take it with a grain of salt. :)

1. IF you have any, leave behind any preconceptions about "woman's work" being degrading. Women have made successful businesses as seamstresses, chefs, doctors, decorators, even "home organizers!" Doing the same things at home can be just as challenging and rewarding with the right attitude. All the other stuff aside, is there a more important job in the world than being a mom?

2. Let your child's curiosity lead you. Kids look at the world with such a fresh perspective. Things we take for granted, like the color of the sky and the blowing of a breeze are all new to them. As you help satisfy their curiosity, you may learn something that you would otherwise have taken granted! You can also stoke their curiosity by having some of it yourself. "How do flowers grow?" or "what causes the wind to blow?" may be questions that lead to an exciting mutual discovery. (I have learned more out of children's books at the library than I did in college! Physics, astronomy, math, literature, botany, you name it!) And teaching something really is the best way to learn it.

3. You don't have to go somewhere fancy every day, but find little learning opportunities as you progress through your day. I still remember watching Becky show Eleanor the moon once after a get-together and explaining a bit about its phases. No wonder she is so smart!

4. Periodically expose your kids to the best classical music, art, dancing, theater, science, etc (even if its on a CD or DVD!). They may not be as excited as they would be for Water World (and I'm not saying NOT to go to Water World, just to not do that exclusively) but if YOU are excited, its hard for some of that not to rub off. My kids love dancing around to the "William Tell Overture" as much as they do to more "cool" stuff.

5. Become a miniature child development expert. Researching the human brain and how it works not only helps in understanding each phase your child goes through, but can be enlightening in regards to human nature in general (including your own!).

4. Stay connected with the world through high-end journalism. I love to listen to NPR while I fold clothes or get ready for the day. I also love reading a couple of Wall Street Journal articles a day or sneaking in a bit of the "Economist." I like to think of it as learning from some of the brightest minds in America right there in my living room.

5. This is probably too obvious: challenge yourself with books and discuss them with others. :)

6. Mindless tasks don't have to be mindless. Agatha Christie once said that she planned her novels while doing the dishes. Some of these kinds of tasks are a great opportunity to think and plan without having to completely focus on the task at hand.

7. When within the budget, use travel as a teacher. We like to work in at least one cultural event per family trip. Going to the preserved home of a favorite writer or diplomat is more personal than just reading about him/her in a book.

8. Understand that you may not always be perfectly stimulated at all times (you probably wouldn't feel this in your job, anyway!). Raising kids does require some sacrifice, even if that just means changing the timing of something you really want to do or learn. In the end, it is so worth it! Imagine, as a kid, thinking, wow, my mom is an amazing, capable woman, who could do just about anything, and she chose me. What kid wouldn't feel the power of their own potential when the most powerful woman in his or her life sees him/her as a top priority? What will that child not be able to accomplish? And knowing that you've empowered someone else will contribute more to your being than just about anything else.

Back to School and Little Boy Grows Up

Its that time of year again! Is it okay to say I'm so glad summer is over? I actually survived another summer pregnant with no air conditioner, and I wouldn't do it again! My family also survived a summer of pizza, hamburgers, and eating out. I hope my kids won't be ruined for life in a culinary or nutritional sense.

I was happy to have all the kids home when the summer began, and I enjoyed seeing them more often (and not having a tight schedule to keep). Each year as Kaedon has gone to school, I have gotten really sad at one point or another. I was also curious to see how I would do sending off Isa this year. Its hard to be sad, though, when I know she has been so excited! Half-day kindergarten keeps me so busy running back and forth that it is also hard to have time to miss her! We'll see how we do next year.

This year, I also have to admit, I am enjoying a little quiet time during the day, as well as having a little more one-on-one with Maia in the morning and Isa in the afternoon. Its actually nice to have a schedule again, which means I also get a little quiet time at night back as well. (Hence a Jane Austen or two-- I'm loving it!)

Kaedon had a birthday and lost a front tooth on the top, which made him look so old! He also seems to have grown a ton recently. All this has made me wonder what has happened to my little boy! Watching them grow is definitely bittersweet.

I'm five! I'm five! I'm five!

I am so behind at this. Isa had a BIG birthday in July, and she showed the appropriate enthusiasm for her big day. Her grandma came to visit, she had a party with a few friends, and Isa kept us updated on what the "five year-old" was doing. (the "five year-old is having a party, Mom!") The night before her birthday, she told her grandma: "Grandma, if you forget in the morning that I'm five, I'll just shout 'I'm five! I'm five! I'm five!'" Very cute.

my dad

My husband likes to poke fun at me about a few things I've saved over the years. Several of them relate to my dad. One of them is a candy bar wrapper. I was a teenager and I was off to EFY or something, and my dad slipped a giant candy bar into my suitcase. Another is a twenty dollar bill that is folded like a bird. It was a creative way of sending me money on my mission, but I could never bring myself to spend it. Ever since I was a little girl, my dad would fold paper (usually in church) in creative ways to keep me entertained. I've also saved little notes he wrote -- usually simple, telling me he loved me or inviting me to one of his killer French toast breakfasts. He is a gentle giant who loves nature, 8 tracks, books on most subjects, making things with his hands, and kids. He was always quietly kind, inspiring me in many ways just by sheer fact that he loved me and spent time with me. What a great dad.

The Grad

We were able to attend Miguel's graduation last weekend. I was so proud! He put in so much work and it was very rewarding to see him and the other students honored for their efforts. What an accomplishment. (and now we can sort of have a life again!) :)

Fishing in Utah

Seems like every time we visit Miguel's dad, he takes us fishing. The kids love it, and so do I. (Thats because I don't have to clean the fish!) He is a good fisherman AND a good grandpa.

Near Death Experience

In Utah I had a near death experience. Too bad I was sleeping! This happened on I-15...don't know what hit us, but it dented the post (dang it, new car!) and left a bunch of glass in my lap. Is this a sign? Should I stay away from Utah?

Mom

I love being a mom. When my kids are gone, I feel like a part of me is gone! I don't think there is anything more important that I can do at this time in my life. This Mother's Day, however, I thought I'd post a bit about my own mom and what she did for me.

1. She brought me into this world after nearly nine months of throwing up!
2. She put her own dreams aside to help me pursue mine and be there for me.
3. She always made me look cute. There was a lot of hair curling involved! (and hours at the sewing machine!)
4. She taught me how to read.
5. She survived many years trying to teach me responsibility; this means at least eighteen years (plus!) of putting up with me losing things and forgetting things.
6. She taught me how to clean a bathroom and do laundry, putting up with all the whining that accompanied such tasks.
7. She supported my sports endeavors financially and emotionally, even though she probably thought I was a bit short-sighted at the time. She rarely missed one of my events, and was one of my loudest cheerleaders.
8. She taught me how to play the piano, and ensured I practiced every morning at 6 am for 10 years! (I can still hear her shout from the other room -- "B FLAT!")
9. She drove me to a neighboring town for school for three years in elementary school...just the beginning of her teaching me the value of education.
10. She taught me values by word and example.
11. She took me to church, exposing me to ideas and people that would shape my life.
12. She continually instilled in me the value of being a mother, and instilled in me a love for children. I began life as a mother with some very clear ideas about what I would or would not do, and many of these ideas were formed at home. I always thought of motherhood as the greatest privilege imaginable, with limitless possibilities to inspire children, make then happy, and do good in the world. Yes, being a mom is frustrating and exhausting at times, but rewarding as heck. (I learned that word from her too)

There are of course many more, but I'd better stop. My mom is amazing and I'm thankful for all she sacrificed for me!

Good News

We are expecting our fourth child on December the 12th. Yay! We are thrilled, and so are the kids. Isa has been especially attentive, taking "care" of me, patting my tummy, and saying random prayers at random times for the baby. Maia does occasionally refer to wanting to "smoosh" the baby, but I suppose that is normal. Lets just hope she'll get over that in the seven months she has left. :)

Yes, I am over 30 now--I guess that is a terrible omen about such things as weight gain and tire-ability, but I'm optimistic (even though I have felt sicker than any pregnancy I've had yet!). Just glad we can finally share our happy news...

Good Life

So....its probably no surprise to anyone reading this that I have had one of those weeks. :) I was feeling a bit "cross" (we have been reading The Secret Garden-- its sure fun to remember some of those commonly-used British words) and I got this YouTube link from a friend. Helped me to remember that when I think small, its easy to get discouraged about small things. When I try to remember the big picture and who I really want to be, the little road blocks don't matter so much anymore.

(And...if I can raise my "sons" to be like the great examples they spoke of, or like the singers on the clip, then all the parental sacrifices would be so worth it!)

Easter

Its that time of year when I find various shades of pastel Easter grass in such unlikely places as the dishwasher and my shorts drawer. I don't remember the last time St. Patrick's Day, the first day of Spring, AND Easter were all in the same week. Kind of fun.

So my Mom does holidays amazingly well. For Valentines Day we always had a red dinner, for St. Patrick's we had green, and every other holiday was celebrated at my house with much festivity and style. My Mom always pays great attention to detail, with matching dishes (sometimes plastic or paper, but always festive), cute centerpieces, and theme-oriented food. This has always been great fun.

I have to admit, I enjoy it when someone else puts forth the work, but not so much when I am running the show. In fact, sometimes my expectations for what I need to do are so high I don't do anything at all. So, although my attempts were thrown together at the last minute and a bit weak this year, I was proud of our St. Patty's Day green dinner. Of course, it still pales in comparison to my Mom's fabulous green dinners. (Note that my centerpiece happens to be one of my favorite birthday gifts, minus the chopped off blossoms) :)

Easter, also very low-key. The Easter Bunny did manage to make it to our house, and I did put an Easter tablecloth on the table for dinner (one that my mom gave me, no less!). I felt pretty heroic. Also interesting that in the fresh snow on our walk outside were many rabbit tracks. Hows that for ambiance? Wish I could take credit for that one.

This Easter I've been feeling especially grateful for my previously little-noticed blessings. I've been more thankful for the food on the table (even if the mashed potatoes are green), that I have a healthy family to share it with, and a roof over my head. Most of all, I'm thankful for my Ultimate Hero, who was always concerned about the one, the one who no one else seemed to notice at times. He is still concerned about the one. I have to echoe the statement that I'm amazed "he would descend from His throne divine, to rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine." He rescues me every day, even though I'm not always paying attention. When I feel invisible as a Mom, I have to remember all the great things He does under that cloak of invisibility.

Quotes of the Day

Kaedon talked for a few days about how fun it would be to be a king. I started to worry about him, thinking he had some issues with control or power. (or materialism) So, one day I asked him why he wanted to be a king. He said "so I could choose which animal is the symbol of my kingdom." So simplistic. Pretty cute little nature-loving dude.

Another one, heard this on "Car Talk," has special meaning for me this week. (don't ask) One of the Car Talk bros said to the other, "I'm not much of a bath man myself, I'm more of a cologne man [raucous laughter]." I love how hard those guys laugh at their own jokes. Makes me laugh just hearing them laugh at themselves.

We watched Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (fun, good movie, but I thought it was a bit heavy for my kids). In the film, Natalie Portman's character feels inadequate to fill shoes of "departing" Mr. Magorium--she is plagued with self-doubt. Only when she begins to believe in herself and that she has magic within does she revive the departed Mr. Magorium's store. At one point, Mr. Magorium says to her: "your life is an occasion. Rise to it." Them's inspirin' words.

No Words

So...a few months ago I found myself thinking of all the amazing women I know and all they sacrifice for their families and the community. Every day it seems I see someone doing something quietly amazing for someone else. I wondered to myself how anyone who knew Mormons could possibly think of them as a Satanic cult. Then Mitt Romney came along and I saw that there are still so many prevalent misconceptions. I felt so frustrated....I wanted to be able to answer people face-to-face, yet this was not an option. So I tried to think of a way to answer back, so to speak. At the very least, I wanted to defend these people who I love so much and who are so good, yet so misunderstood. Yet, I didn't want to sound defensive. I thought about what Mormonism means to me, that its overriding theme is about being a better person each day, and trying to be more like Jesus Christ. I don't know the answers to all the anti-Mormon stuff out there, but I know that Mormonism has made my life better and inspired me to desire to be better.

So, I wrote an essay and submitted it to "This I Believe," which airs occasional essays on NPR. This January was the tenth anniversary for when I left on my mission, so its been on my mind a lot the last few months. I decided to write an essay about my mission, because it was so life-altering for me. I figured people not of my faith might find such an experience interesting (it may be commonplace to Mormons, but to others, its quite unique). I also wanted it to be personal-- about a person, an individual, and not a doctrine or a practice. Instead of arguing or getting defensive, I felt like I just wanted to show rather than tell someone what being a Mormon was all about to me. And I hope that people will see that its end result in my life was good, even if they don't agree with Church doctrine or want to become members themselves.

When I tried to submit my essay, it was way too long. (surprise, for those of you who had had your head talked off by me...sorry) So I had to cut it way down...it didn't end up sounding like I wanted it to sound, but I'm glad I did it. In the end, it was good for me! Made me appreciate writers (its so much harder to make the words sound effortless and the thoughts/ideas flow than I ever imagined!), and also made me think about my life, my religion, and why I do what I do. Also brought back some very tender feelings about the people I met on my mission, made me realize how rewarding it is to serve people. (little did I imagine I'd get the opportunity so soon after writing it!)

As I look around me, it seems everyone else learned lessons about helping others and unselfishness without serving missions. It seems I just needed an extra push.

The essay did not get approved for NPR (no surprises there), but it is published on the This I Believe website, under my last name.

One last disclaimer. I put something about being a mom at the end. It seemed to me that learning to love serving others naturally translated into being a mom. I love being a mom, it is another one of those amazing things that makes you look at the world in a completely different way. I wanted to share some of the great moments I've had with my kids (because of time and space I used experiences we have had for the last 6 years-- such as floating boats down little stream 1/2 mi. from our house in England-- but didn't have space to explain relativity, etc-- realized later I implied we have a stream, oops). BUT our life is far from as idyllic as I portrayed. I definitely have moments when I contemplate becoming a murderess, even though I love being a mom.

www.thisibelieve.org or click on "No Words" title above. (don't you love how I titled my longest posting yet "No Words?" Gotta love it.)

Shark

It seems we have had quite the week. Throwing up for five days, a new calling, a shark (I'll get to that), and some little kid humor.

A couple of months ago, Kaedon told me "Mom, I have two rows of teeth!" I told him that no one has two rows of teeth and to quit telling tall tales. Several days later when brushing his teeth I noticed that he did indeed have two rows of teeth. His new tooth had come in behind the one he hadn't lost yet. Of course I felt really terrible and had to apologize. Incidentally, I've been trying to teach him not to jump to conclusions and assume people are liars without having all the facts about a situation. Funny, funny. Of course, I realized later that it is probably every boys dream to have two rows of teeth like a shark, so when it happened again a couple of weeks ago we tried to make the most of it. :)

As for our other drama, we had the stomach flu at our house for five days. (not nearly as fun as having a shark in the house) Each child had it at least four days, which accounted for some big mess clean-up and trauma. Isa appeared late Saturday night looking like a swamp creature with you-know-what all in her hair, on her face, and dripping down her clothes. Poor thing. I thought that was the last of it with her, but a nearly identical thing happened two nights later. Kaedon threw up in his bed and was embarrassed so he didn't tell us...we discovered it at bedtime the next night! Just when we thought all the puking and pooping were done, some one else would have another go at it.

I was wondering if the sick feeling in my stomach was my own distemper (thats what Miguel's dad calls it), sympathy pains (especially during clean-up), or the fact that the bishop had asked me on Sunday to be the new Relief Society President. That'll teach me a thing or two! (I'll never complain about my calling again!) I think I'll write about this more later, as I need to find the words. :) One thing is for sure, Rochelle is truly amazing.

Lastly, to add to the melee, I think Maia said some of the funniest things she has ever said. To describe her tears when crying, she said "I'm dripping." She called my contacts "stickers." (hey, that is what they look like to a two-year old!) I told her "you're whining," and she replied "I'm not whining, I'm Maia." (did her dad teach her that?)

From sharks to swamp creatures its always good to have a little humor to give the other stuff perspective.

Heroes

...So, I've been reading a book about George Washington (if you call 5 mins a day reading)at night and also reading a book about the Civil War (while I walk on the treadmill). Interesting that George Washington was NOT PERFECT (don't know why I thought he would be)-- in fact, he was a man of fairly average intelligence and capabilities. (not super religious either-- though he did believe in God in a more passive sense) The big thing was-- he was always willing to do what he was asked to do or needed to do and then follow it through to the end. It was interesting to read how much Valley Forge influenced him and cemented in his mind the ideals of freedom for all. Turns out legends about the suffering at Valley Forge were true, that men did go shoeless, their feet leaving trails of blood on the snow. They were the most ordinary of the ordinary, they often were ill-equipped and shoeless, without good coats or clothes. I wondered if Washington's willingness to give up power when time came was influenced in part by his experiences with these everyday heroes who had sacrificed so much. Amazing how many men in world's history could not give up power, even if they had intended to at the start. I think Washington had learned to believe in depth of human courage and really believed principles of American Revolution.

Lincoln. I could go on and on. He is one of the big heroes for me. Humble, intelligent, a fighter for rights of people, overall great man. I read a story about how the proud George McClellan had returned from a dinner party and was informed that Lincoln and Seward had been waiting for an hour for his return so they could talk to him. A servant informed Lincoln 30 min. later that McClellan had gone to bed. Seward was furious, but Lincoln was calm. Said he would hold McClellan's horse for him if he would only help the Union win victories. (in Battle Cry of Freedom by James McPherson)

Lastly, yesterday, was reading about the battle of Shiloh. One of first big battles of Civil War as far as casualties go, was a huge shock for men fighting. Slept all night in a downpour between battles (Grant slept on field with his men). Next morning, as Union soldiers pursued Confederates, crossed yesterday's battlefield. Sight of wounded, dead, or dying was appalling. Wounded had gathered together in little groups through the rainstorm, suffering. Made me so sad! Good thing I didn't fall off the treadmill. Reminded me of BOM movie we watched other day, about how some of biggest heroes are just ordinary people. Made me appreciate how much some have sacrificed for freedom. They are my heroes.

Two

So, my little cutie is two today. Amazing that the more children one has, the quicker time seems to go.

Just yesterday, at the breakfast table, she told her dad "I'm cute, Dad." She is cute! It is an age of contrasts-- just learning to be naughty but still so cute I could eat her up. It seems I'm just now appreciating the unique spot she fills in our family. I was so overwhelmed when she was born-- we were finishing the house (we're still finishing the house!) and I had two other cuties to take care of. My husband started his MBA just 6 months later. It has been so busy we've had to cut way back on any extras, but I've had also had some extra one-on-one time with the kids I wouldn't have had otherwise.

It seems for a while I took each of the kids for granted, assuming they'll all be here forever. It can be so easy to let the daily routine drag me down and close my vision to the long term perspective. But recent health events in our family have made me realize how precious each of my kids are, and how blessed I am to be able to take care of them!

Today I am grateful for Maia. She is fun, sweet, spunky and independent as all get out, and smart. Our family would not be the same without her.

Valentine

So...I love poetry. A fun story played on NPR yesterday about a whimsical Valentine poet. His poem, "A Map of the World," is a beautiful expression of the enduring qualities of love. Here is the link: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=18990762

Reminded me of my husband, who loves to travel. We were sitting in my sister's potato chair in her room one day and laughing together. She has postcards and a map of the world on her wall. With his arm around me, he told her "have lover, must travel."

Love

What a great day. I woke up this morning and my husband had left me a card with some chocolate. Amazing he still loves me considering he knows my flaws better than anyone else. What a good guy.

Today as I rocked my little cute nearly-two-year-old to sleep, I couldn't help feeling so happy. As a parent, you give and give and yet always seem to get more in return. Who can put a price on a little angel, soft cheeks and wispy hair, succumbing to sweet sleep snuggled trustingly in mom's arms?

I got to read with the kids at school today. They are just so cute! I love that kids just are who they are--no pretense. They seem to absorb love and learning so freely.

I just love kids! Even when they're naughty, they are just freely expressing what they feel, whether that is anger or frustration or whether they're simply tired or bored. While there is definitely something to be said for developing self-control, their simplicity and honesty are so refreshing! And they seem to have limitless capacity to love.

Why

As much as I didn't want to blog (its much easier and more enjoyable to read blogs written by others, particularly my beloved friends), I have felt the necessity of doing this for several reasons. The main one is simply that I want to be able to let family and friends see what we're up to. I may just blog like crazy for one week and then let my procrastinating self take over. So, to my dear family, don't get your hopes up about finally getting more pictures and news from us. But we will try.

I had some grandiose ideas about helping to dispel a few misconceptions about Mormons too (sheesh, people have some big ones). I don't think anyone who isn't Mormon is going to read this, and those who are, already know we don't worship Satan. :)

First Day

Well, this is my first try at blogging. Let's hope this isn't as disastrous as my record with other electronic media. I don't really have anything to say! Does this thing have a spell checker? This could get ugly.